Truthfully, the only thing these shoes have to do with the holidays is that it's the middle of the December. Now that I've cleared that up, let's get to it:

($164, Glory Chen,
Endless.com)
You don't even need to have seen the inside of this person's home to know that it's decorated in that depressing pastel "Southwestern" Stucco style.

($50,
Schuh)
How can just one pair of cheap shoes say so much about unfulfilled expectations?

($470, Bernard Wilhelm,
Shopfatal.com)
Remember the '80s? Yeah? Me too. Some things are best left there.

($198,
Free People)
Aye caballero. No mas, por favor!

(Apprx $152,
Topshop)
Perhaps these "Gladiator" boots were named after the movie, which would explain why they suck so epically.

($109, Type Z,
Zappos)
Can whoever took Apollonia's purple suede "shoobies" without asking please return them? She's getting pissed.
FINALLY! A boot that lets me pay tribute to both "Hellraiser" and "Blade Runner" at the same time.

($78, Naughty Monkey,
Zappos)
Sometimes, "knowing when to say when" applies to the Bedazzler too.
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