Bitches Brew Nail Polish

SCENE I. A cavern. In the middle, a boiling nail polish bottle.

Thunder. Enter the three Bitches.

First Bitch

Thrice I've backstabbed my best friend.

Second Bitch

Thrice and once today I've whined.

Third Bitch

I am SO bored--'Tis time, 'tis time.

First Bitch

Round about the bottle go;

Add like, whatever, I don't know.

Eye of newt; some blood of ducks;

That should be good for sixteen bucks.

Looks kind of dirty, but don't panic;

Charge extra--call the brand organic.

ALL

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Bitch

The bottle's full of our creation,

No more room for punctuation;

Forget the tired, trite, possessive,

"Bitches Brew"'s much more expressive.

We brew a lot besides just potions:

Moisturizers, perfumes, lotions.

You know it takes more than a wand

To get Three's tacky cauldron-blonde.

ALL

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Third Bitch

So anyway, that lame Macbeth,

Let's bring him to an early death.

He's so not hunky, and that wife!

Your hands are clean--please get a life!

After we've got him in our thrall

We'll head out to the nearest mall.

My jeans have been untimely ripp'd,

And for Bitch One, I've got a reason:

Your black cat is SO last season.

Bitch Two, you'll never catch a thane

Til Birnam wood reach Dunsinane.