Hey, Do You Have $1,250?

Good! So you can buy me this vintage Chanel letter necklace from What Goes Around Comes Around?

($1,250, vintage Chanel, shopwgaca.com)

You're REALLY Gonna Need This Nautical Striped Blazer From LOFT

UPDATE: Check out LOFT's nautical striped blazer in all of its glory!

($98, Loft)

Last night I went to the LOFT Holiday 2010 presentation, and while I liked what they were doing with subtle updates to winter classics -- the preppy tweed skirt below with a black silk overlay -- I left with one piece on my YES PLEASE list. The nautical striped wool blazer above. Is it a Givenchy's Springl 2010 blue and white striped blazer? Who can say? But I love the idea of warm wool jacket in a theme usually associated with warmer months. (More cool Breton striped tops here at Dreamhaute.)

And check out that Karen Walker/ Coco Chanel-inspired Breton striped top with a cute floral overlay. Cute on its own or layered under a blazer or safari jacket. I'm into it!

Oh, and speaking of safari jacket, I've been meaning to pick up Loft's safari jacket for forevs. Laziness alone has been a barrier to my owning that jacket:

($79.50, LOFT)

Seriously though, put aside your Mom-jeans conception of LOFT, because they're really stepping their game up (if you're not getting a J.Crew-y vibe already.) And they LOVE a sale. I got an amazing pair of black pegleg harem pants that look like Vanessa Bruno/ Phillip Lim for like $19. They practically paid me to buy them. Point is: LOFT = LOVE

Going Green

I'm never the girl with the It bag, or the It shoe, but apparently I'm the girl with the It nail polish. Over the past couple days I've been borderline assaulted with amazed gasps accompanied by some version of the question, "Is that the Chanel polish?" This has happened countless times (two). Luckily, it is not the runway-famous Chanel polish, because that would mean I'd paid a ridiculous sum for green nail polish on eBay. It's sold out, see. This is the must-have in question:



An apparently good approximation, for those interested in such things: Ko's Liberty shade. The polish is too thick and is ultra matte (gross...I added a topcoat because I'm just not edgy enough), but hey, it'll get you pistachio green fingernails. Which is fashionable! Check me out:



You're welcome!

HOLY SHIT. ANN TAYLOR HAS STEPPED IT THE EFF UP IN THE MOST REAL WAY

Yesterday I had THE MOST vile experience ATTEMPTING to browse wedding rings at Michael C. Fina -- they barely acknowledged my presence. Maybe they're not in the habit of... selling... fine jewelry? To people willing to pay good money for fine jewelry??? Seriously? I had to ASK the woman behind the counter for help. And I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE STORE. Ew. Sure, I was wearing fuchsia leather fingerless gloves, so she perhaps assumed I was a drug addict or a thief or something (wrong on both counts). In actually, I interested in what they had for sale. Sorry, but my father and my fiance's father were both in sales, and you never know who you're turning down or turning away. (In this case, A PERSON WITH A BLOG! Who's not afraid to share her shitty experience with the reading public! Three other friends told me they had same experience trying to shop there. Since when do you need to "TRY" to shop??) So turn away, I did. But not before I noticed they had like the TACKIEST crap for sale near the door -- Ed Hardy-esque flame-lick cuff links and stuff. EW. I headed over to the diamond district, which, sure, can be sharky, but people actually TOOK their time to talk to me like they gave a shit as I attempted to look for a piece of jewelry that symbolizes my love and committment to my partner. So thank you, diamond district dudes, for giving a shit. And fuck you, lady who works at Michael C Fina, for not giving a shit. Because I'm trying to buy my WEDDING rings, so yes, I do give a shit.

SOOOOOO, long story longer, after that, I stopped into Ann Taylor because they had sparkly things in the window. AND OH MY GOD. Ann Taylor has SEEEEEEEEEEEERIOUSLY stepped it ALL the way the fuck up and gone from Grandma to Grand-NAW! Like, such an epic makeover it's like when Sandy goes from boring to whoring at the end of Grease. Except obviously neither Sandy nor Ann Taylor is/ are whores.

Okay, check out ALL of the super cute things I found at Ann Taylor online that I would wear in a single solitary heartbeat.

($65, AnnTaylor.com)

WHO among us would NOT wear this amazement chunky statement necklace? NOT I! I can tell you that much.

($120, AnnTaylor.com)

Um, I'm sorry, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can no longer separate rational needs from irrational wants when confronted with this metallic jacquard leopard-print skirt, Ann!

($85, AnnTaylor.com)

Lately all I can think about is Glee and sequiny things. Unsurprisingly. This sequined tank top is as perfect as Puck.

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! WTF! I LOVE this grey slouchy boot! Seriously!? Jamaican me CRAZY!

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

Ann! It's cool, not tryin' to put a rush on you. I just wanna let you know that I got a crush on you.

($100, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! It's like you CREPT into my closet and KNEW I have the BEST orange suede vintage jacket that this would complement PERFECTLY! GAH! Ann, it's like you know me better than I know myself. You devil, you!

Hi! A whole Chanel-inspired outfit! Bar jacket and all! I ADORE YOU, ANN!

You So NEED A Sequined Jacket For Fall... TRUST.

The prospect of sequined blazers make me SO wish it were fall instead of almost summer. And when it comes to sequins, I like my sequined apparel like I like my Waffle House hash browns: smothered and covered. Seriously, go big, go hard, or go home. Because you know what looks cheap and shoddy? Like three or four sequins timidly schlocked onto a tank top. SNORE, and go ask your grandma about that. Because you know what looks BOWIE as fuck? A cropped, fitted jacket FUCKING COVERED in sequins. (And check Project Rungay for a comprehensive list of designers who welcomed back the sequin for Fall 2009.)

Anyway, while this sequined jacket from the Chanel 2009 Resort collection is, ostensibly, just beyond my reach:... like in every way imaginable...

This sequined Topshop jacket is the do run run...

($370, Topshop)

True, $370 is "a lot of money," but a sequined jacket is an investment in your fashion future, and I read the newspapers (sometimes), and now is the time to INVEST (right? isn't it?)

($755, Les Chiffoniers, Net-a-porter.com)

It's also half the price of this gold sequined Les Chiffoniers jacket, which is intense. I mean, if I had a spare $755 and was in the market for a gold sequined jacket, which I am, this would be it.

($795, Diane Von Furstenberg, Net-a-porter.com)

I do have to say, I am NOT feeling this DVF sequined jacket. It's way too long in that kind of uncomfortable way when a bad joke won't end and just keeps going and going... Also, it's kind of fugnasty. And I don't care if it was glorious on Whitney Port. WE are not Whitney Port. Let her KEEP it. Team Topshop!

PS:

($332, Adam, Net-a-porter.com)
Never.

Chanel? No. Obey? Yes!

I love this black quilted laptop bag inspired by Chanel's classic black quilted bag:

($96, Obey, Karmaloop)

Sure, it's Obey and not Chanel, but it's also not like $2,000. AND, it's got a tiny row of pyramid studs! SCORE! You can get it at Karmaloop, where promo codes are a dime a dozen! And I like dimes, and I like dozens.

+ Try any of these Karmaloop promo codes:
MO9333 = 20% off
MS29093 = 20% off
KH28064 = 20% off
JK28278 = 20% off

Friday Night Linky Dinks!

Yep. Still couched. And now, a whole bunch of links that have about as much in common as spaghetti and kitty litter.

+ American Apparel takes one step closer toward absolute corruption as they reintroduce Hypercolor shirts. Why God, why? Brightest Young Things reports.

+ Nylon previews the next designer to team up with Target for their Go International collection: Richard Chai. Pretty fall solid separates in purples and blues.

+ MOTHER! Dress up like Little Edie Beale in jewelry inspired by Grey Gardens.
This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand.

+ Makeupandbeautyblog takes a look like Chanel's Fall 2008 gold-flecked metallics in princessy fairy shades. Love the Fantastic Plum lipstick.

+ Beauty Anonymous experiments with mascaras with magical battery-powered wands that whirl, twirl, and could possibly blind you. I'm afraid. (Via Beauty Blogging Junkie)

+ For the Love of Beauty explores India via Lancome's forthcoming India-inspired Fall 2008 collection.

+ I can't wait for Ashley Paige: Bikini or Bust, and after watching about 10 hours of television today and seeing this commercial about 14 times, I'm practically an expert.

+ Crafty ladies: Roman Sock knows how to make meerkats that are so cute you could just break down and cry.

Freakin' Fugly Footwear

Three painful picks for this Monday eve:

($98, Jeffrey Campbell, Urban Outfitters)

Appropriately enough, the color of this shoe is "Whiskey." Jeffrey Campbell truly must've imbibed when he designed ONE shoe with a cinch toe, cut outs, laces AND WTF ever that bridge to madness is above the toe.

($59, Steve Madden)

Clowny McModsquad.

($499, Chanel, eBay)

But wait! They're Chanel. BUT WAIT! They're FUCKING WRETCHED! Are these like punk-dominatrix snow boots or something? You can be into S&M OR you can wear winter gear, but you don't get to be both at once.


The redeemer:

($286, Salvador Sapena, Asos.com)

Thank you, Salvador Sapena. You've answered correctly. You may be seated.

Runway Recap: Chanel Ready-to-Wear Spring 2008

Schizophrenia! Rizzo! Stars and stripes! Bondage! Boredom! Prostitution! Grey Gardens! Granny knits! Coogi! White people in racist country clubs (I don't think there was ONE non-pale-skinned model in that show! Wait. There was like one Asian or something. But COME ON!) The movie Overboard! No, it's not a shortlist of Britney's faults and favorite things. These are what look to be the much-too-many inspirations behind the Chanel's dizzingly unfocused 2008 RTW collection.

Check out the denim pieces; instead of making you go to the trouble of tracking down some blinding acid, pouring it into a bucket and dunking your head in, they've done that for you. Thanks, Uncle Karl! Enjoy the parade of atrocities!